Scufiţa Red

Vâzând că nu demult am vorbit despre pasiunea (cam exagerată) a românilor faţă de limba engleză. Am vrut să aduc ceva mai amuzant şi distractiv(sper eu) la temă. Cum ar suna povestea Scufiţei Roşii pentru un englezofil înrăit XD.

A fost one time ca niciun time, a little fetiţă cu a red scufiţă.
One dimineaţ her mama zised:
„Dear Scufiţă, take this coşuleţ cu food la bunic, but attention to the lup that is very very rău! And întorce-te soon! Good Luck!”
Scufiţa went away de una singură with coşuleţ. Merging, merging, in the inima pădurii, la un moment dat she întâlnited the lup, ce zised:
„Hi! Little scufiţa girl! Şî uer du iu go?”
„To the bunic with acest little coşuleţ” she zised.
„Ah, to the naiba! Uat noroc du ai hăv!!” zised the lup, with a râu of saliv out of the gur.
And so the lup zised:
„Păi, amu ai hăv to plec, cî mai mobil iz ringing, sorry.” And the lupt pleced away, but not very away, but to the bunic’s house. Scufiţa Red, who was very, dar very lent, lent ca the naib, continued for her cărar in the forest. The lup ajunsed at the house, suoned at the door, entered, and after saluting the bunic, mâncated her with one înghiţitur. Then, after scuiping the dentar protez, he îmbrăcated the ridicol night berret, and băgated himself in the pat. Then Scufiţa Red came to the bunic’s house, suoned and entered.
But when the little and prost girl saw the bunic (bunic was the bunic, but the lup, ţine mint!) zised:
„But bunic, why do you stay in pat?”
And the bunic-lup:
„Oh, Ai scrântit mai glezn duing aerobics!”.
„Oh, poor bunic!”, said Scufiţa( she was more than prost, I think, wasn’t she?).
Then she zised: „But… what big ochis you have! Do you nevoie de some colir?”.
„Oh, no! It’s for văding you better, my dear (prost) girl” zised the bunic-lup.
Then Scufiţa, who was more dur than a block of marm: „But what big urechis you have! do you have otită?”.
And the bunic-lup: „Oh, no! It’s to ascult you better”.
And Scufiţa (that i think now was really tâmpited) zised: „But what big dints you have!”. And the lup, at this point zised: „it’s tu mănânc iu better!” And mâncated really pe toat poor little girl”.
But (ta dah!) out of the house a simpatic, curios, and inocent vânător auzited tot and zised:
„Ia te uit! A lup! Its blană valoreaz un sac de money” And so, împins only for the compassion for the little girl, aruncated la pământ many vulpi, veveriţe and iepuri tha he had omorâted till that moment, luated the puşc, entered in the camer and killed the lup. Then he înjunghieted his pântec (being atent to not stric blana) and trased afară bunic (stil vie) and Scufiţa (still tâmpită). And so, at the end, the vânător vânded the blan and câştigated in an onest way a sac de money. The bunic mâncated tot from the coşuleţ. And so, everybody trăited fericiţi and mulţumiţi (maybe not the lup!).